Spider Stories (T)
Jan 7, 2016 8:54:44 GMT -8
Post by lyraalluse on Jan 7, 2016 8:54:44 GMT -8
Spider Stories
© Emma Lee Downs
An essay about some creepy encounters I have had with spiders over the years.
Spider Stories
Story one: I heard some thumping noises under my bathroom sink. I opened it up to find this giant wolf spider (who I lovingly named Bob) trying to get out. I was all like, 'oh heck no' and I grabbed one of my great swords (I am in the SCA, so I have a lot of weapons) and chased Bob out from under the sink, swinging as I went. I opened the patio door and chased him right outside. Bob scurried away into the neighbor’s yard, never to be seen again.
Story two: When I was eighteen, I woke up from a deep sleep short of breath, with the feeling that my skin was burning. I had turned red and had white spots all over my body. I told my mom and was immediately taken to the hospital. The doctor had me take charcoal and after some time I began to vomit. During one of these vomiting fits I vomited out a nearly whole Brown Recluse Spider. The doctor said I had an allergic reaction to the spider itself. Had it bitten be on the way down, its poison would have started to eat away at my skin. I was just lucky.
Story three: One time I was on the toilet, and when I went to reach for the toilet paper, there, sitting on the roll, was this huge Black Widow spider. I managed to use the Kleenex on the toilet to take care of business and literally bolted out of the bathroom. I returned with bug spray and sprayed that thing like a hundred times, but it kept running towards me so I grabbed a nearby boot and smacked it like twelve times but that bugger was still alive, so I went all Tarzan on it and just kept swinging the boot, smack, and finally, hundred smacks later (and one less can of bug spray) that sukkah was dead.
Story four: When I lived in a haunted house growing up (that is a whole other story) the laundry room was filled with black widow spiders. Like literally crawling with them. And no matter how many times we got rid of the black widow spiders, they would always come back. So I always avoided that room like the plague.
Story five: One time I woke up with a baby wolf spider on my face. I was sleepy at the time and didn’t notice it was there until I looked in the mirror and saw this giant-ish spider on the right side of my face. I panicked, and started flinging my arms about. Eventually, the spider became dislodged and I chased it as far as I could before it scurried into a crack in the wall. Ever since then, I always check the covers before I go to bed.
Needless to say...I don't like spiders, for obvious reasons.
© Emma Lee Downs
An essay about some creepy encounters I have had with spiders over the years.
Spider Stories
Story one: I heard some thumping noises under my bathroom sink. I opened it up to find this giant wolf spider (who I lovingly named Bob) trying to get out. I was all like, 'oh heck no' and I grabbed one of my great swords (I am in the SCA, so I have a lot of weapons) and chased Bob out from under the sink, swinging as I went. I opened the patio door and chased him right outside. Bob scurried away into the neighbor’s yard, never to be seen again.
Story two: When I was eighteen, I woke up from a deep sleep short of breath, with the feeling that my skin was burning. I had turned red and had white spots all over my body. I told my mom and was immediately taken to the hospital. The doctor had me take charcoal and after some time I began to vomit. During one of these vomiting fits I vomited out a nearly whole Brown Recluse Spider. The doctor said I had an allergic reaction to the spider itself. Had it bitten be on the way down, its poison would have started to eat away at my skin. I was just lucky.
Story three: One time I was on the toilet, and when I went to reach for the toilet paper, there, sitting on the roll, was this huge Black Widow spider. I managed to use the Kleenex on the toilet to take care of business and literally bolted out of the bathroom. I returned with bug spray and sprayed that thing like a hundred times, but it kept running towards me so I grabbed a nearby boot and smacked it like twelve times but that bugger was still alive, so I went all Tarzan on it and just kept swinging the boot, smack, and finally, hundred smacks later (and one less can of bug spray) that sukkah was dead.
Story four: When I lived in a haunted house growing up (that is a whole other story) the laundry room was filled with black widow spiders. Like literally crawling with them. And no matter how many times we got rid of the black widow spiders, they would always come back. So I always avoided that room like the plague.
Story five: One time I woke up with a baby wolf spider on my face. I was sleepy at the time and didn’t notice it was there until I looked in the mirror and saw this giant-ish spider on the right side of my face. I panicked, and started flinging my arms about. Eventually, the spider became dislodged and I chased it as far as I could before it scurried into a crack in the wall. Ever since then, I always check the covers before I go to bed.
Needless to say...I don't like spiders, for obvious reasons.
